I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
