We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
