You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
