What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
