and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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