If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
im holly from the hills drunk
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
