ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
