It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Mom said you looked used
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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