My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize