i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
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You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
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It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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