there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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