Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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