That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
