Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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