The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
