he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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