I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
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