My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
