were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
