It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
