Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
