And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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