I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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