Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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