I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
