Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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