Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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