And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize