Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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