Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
