he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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