David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Randomize