she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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