What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
