Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
