like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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