Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize