I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
