Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
