Banned from zoo.
Again?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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