I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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