Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Randomize
