I molested 6 butterflies tonight
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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