You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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