these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
