True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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