So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
My liver just had a heart attack.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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