remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
