I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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