New low: just hacked my moms facebook
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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