If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
