So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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