So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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