can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
i out mim tonsoeep
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
