party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
