That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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