no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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