Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
