I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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