I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
