I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
