I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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