We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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