I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I cut my penus on the lid.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
