Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
They have beer where we have blood.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
