I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize